Learn To Love Less People More

As time goes by, relationships that were once strong and lasting can suddenly begin to break down. This can be due to changes in one’s life or conflicts between two people. Either way, your group of friends will suddenly become a lot smaller. Then you will like less people.

It’s no secret that most people can count all the true friends they have on one hand and that in the case of friendships and relationships, at some point, quality becomes much more important than quantity.

Changes in your life

You have built a fence around your circle of friends. After all, you know what’s good for you. Furthermore, you make this circle more exclusive, stronger and more profound in order to be able to love the people around you more. This in itself is not a painful process.

In fact, it is quite natural for this change to take place. Determining distances and limitations according to your own needs is something that everyone does at some point in their life.

You don’t have to love more people; just love your people more

At some point, you begin to value the intensity of your relationships more. That therefore becomes more important than the amount of relationships you have. You enjoy having the people who really matter and who you most want to have around you.

This is partly determined by how much time you can put into your relationships. But also because of the shared interests and priorities you have with others.

Your age also plays a role

When you are fifteen years old, you love to be surrounded by people. You love to gain new ideas and experiences. By your thirties or forties, your priorities start to change. This makes you a little more selective in choosing your ‘fights’.

Friendship: the closer, the better

At certain ages it is quite normal to feel alone sometimes, but then again not, which makes you (whether you realize this or not) looking for warm, pure, sincere and stable relationships. 

This is not a new phenomenon at all. After all, there are now studies that enable us to say with certainty that as people age, we increasingly value quality over quantity.

You choose and value relationships with people with whom you have a closer bond. Because it is precisely these relationships that give you a greater sense of well-being on an emotional, cognitive and social level.  By balancing each of these aspects, you are better able to shape each of these friendships yourself.

Friendships should both be able to offer something

So, emotionally speaking, people are generally inclined to judge each friendship based on what it has to offer them.

There are many options for friendship

In this way, you can become more accurate and analytical, while at the same time detaching yourself from what you think each relationship can offer you. You become more and more aware that there are a lot of different options. And that this wide variety of options also offers advantages.

Nevertheless, something miraculous occurs, where confrontations become more painful and touch you more deeply, whether this is because of experience or because you become less flexible.

As an adult, you may find it touching when two kids are arguing over the same toy one minute and then hugging each other and loving each other more than anything else the next.

Is it worth losing a certain friendship?

Therefore, always try to keep the following aspect in mind. Are the reasons for your anger and estrangement really important enough to lose a particular friendship over?

People tend to add too rigid ideas to issues that are actually quite simple, often undermining their emotional ideals.  This detail is without a doubt an important point in any relationship.

It is therefore important to point out that people generally tend to judge the quality of their relationships by events that are quite negative and unimportant relative to what the people around them have to offer. That is, often people close their circle of friends in a negligent way.

Emotional priorities at different stages of life

It is important to remember that changes in your social reality are not always negative in themselves. Whatever your personal reality looks like.

This is something that can undoubtedly be difficult to bear during transition periods. So let’s look at this issue:

• Throughout our pre-adolescence and adolescence, there is a lot of confusion surrounding the topic of personal relationships. We try to find our place in the world and will therefore constantly rebuild and tear down our circle of friends.
• As you reach your twenties, you gradually begin to feel less and less need for big parties, wild nights and social superfluous. You begin to value more and more people you can talk to. So to people who can enrich you on a personal and psychological level.

• As you get deeper and deeper into this phase, you have an increasing need to just be calm and at ease, to feel loved and important and to shape thoughts and interests that stimulate your mind and world in a mature way.

As you evolve yourself, you create a reference group.

• A group of people you can be guided by, against whom you can measure yourself and with whom you can share your thoughts, feelings, interests and fun moments.
• That way, once you grow up, it’s not the friendships that seem close, but the friendships that feel close, that you have with the people you love immensely, that are the most important friendships in your life.
• You love those people who can tell you everything at a glance. People who feel completely free to approve or disapprove of something and who would even throw you to the lions if necessary.

Friendships are unions that become brotherhoods and sisterhoods over time. They are close bonds that have nothing to do with hypocrisy, selfishness and false intentions. These kinds of friendships can fill your soul with their hugs and guide you when something has blinded you.